ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
