I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
