I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
