her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
