I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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