The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
