she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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