i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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