youre lurking in front of me
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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