How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
