i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize