the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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