At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
