What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm passing your future prison.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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