So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
