Quick, to the slutcave!
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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