how can u be prego again
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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