I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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