well I can't set my house on fire every night
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Holy shit dude........stairs
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
