No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
