So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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