love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
