Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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