You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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