Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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