I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
