Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I fill condoms, not promises.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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