I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
