What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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