my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
