Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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