Small penises have feelings too.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
