Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
