so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Slut skills are useful in every country.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
