put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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