Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
that's an acceptable place to lick
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
