i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
