There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
