we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
tonight lets celebrate not being married
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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