i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
