So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
