i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
