first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize