I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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