when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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