god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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