Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
