I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
