We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
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