And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
