Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
