so that wasnt chicken after all
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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