Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
