thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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