So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Also, beer. Big fan.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
