You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
