Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
