I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
