Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
