I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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