she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
