I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
