If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
