the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
