that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
