i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
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